You are all that I need.

During worship at church yesterday we sang a familiar song. The chorus said "Lord, you are all I need." I can't tell you how many times I have sang that song and meant it but yesterday gave me a whole new perspective. Because of the recent tragedy of our miscarriage, singing that song was A LOT harder.

So, I stopped singing and began praying. "Lord, are you ALL I need?" I wondered if I could sing this song if I never had children or all my fears came true. Even though I still have deep wounds, through my tears I praised God. I praised Him for a life He created in me and for His ways being higher than mine. As I sat there, I proclaimed, "Yes Lord, you are enough!"

That didn't make my pain go away but just knowing that my God, who loves me, will be there with me through all the "what ifs" and "if onlys" gave me peace.

So...is the Lord truly ALL you need. When you get to a place where you lose the one thing that means the most, is the time you can truly answer this question.

From Failure to a Future

Do you have a phobia?
For some it could be heights, closed in places, spiders, snakes or even needles. I have actually had a strange phobia since a child. I am terrified of veins. Yes, veins…I hate the thought of anything going in or out of my veins. When this does have to occur, my most common response is crying, hysterically, hyperventilation and passing out. Let me tell you how frustrating I am to doctors and nurses who have the joy of treating me!

But with as extreme as this phobia is, I have found I have an even more paralyzing one: my fear of
failure.

I had no idea this was such a stronghold for me until I went through some major events in my life that pronounced my failure.

I first have to start with my two strongest desires and wants. Since childhood I have always
wanted two things:

1. To be thin.
2. To be a mother.

So, I now share my personal turmoil with you. I don’t share these things because I have a
need to share all the details of my life with the whole world or for acknowledgement. In fact, I would like NOTHING more than for no one to ever know these things but the Holy Spirit has
shown me that others may need to hear this story and that healing can come through sharing it.

First, I have struggled with my weight my entire life and even though I have had some success with diets, I could never get to my goal weight. So I decided to make a huge decision and have weight loss surgery. My insurance didn’t cover it so I had to take money out of my retirement
fund to pay for it. I knew this was a sacrifice but knowing that I would be thin and healthy seemed worth it. About 2.5 years ago, I had my surgery. For those of you who know me, you are
probably surprised because I look no different today than when I had the surgery. That’s right…it didn’t work.

My doctors have no idea why. I’m the slim percentage of people who don’t lose weight. I even saw some close friends have the exact same surgery with grand success. So my question was “Why God!?” “Why can’t I be thin?!” “Why did you create me this way?!” “Why am I the exception?!”

Then, recently I have struggled with wanting a child. Rich and I started trying to get pregnant
over a year ago. Every month I wasn’t pregnant was huge letdown. I was getting
depressed but was trying to trust God. THEN, about 3 weeks ago, I took a pregnancy test and it was POSTIVE! I was so incredibly happy. I couldn’t believe it! I began picking out names, looking at baby stuff with Rich and planning a future. THEN…I had a miscarriage…

I was (and still am) devastated. My questions were “Why God?!” “Why would you have me wait all this time, to just take this child away from me?!” “Why can others get pregnant so easily?!” “Why
would you give healthy children to those who you know will abort and not give me a healthy child?!” “Why can’t you give me ANYTHING I pray for?!”

My miscarriage happened this past weekend so the wound is still very fresh but the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me this whole time. (even through my anger with Him.)

So have I failed? Yes. But does the make me useless, broken or damaged? No. The Lord brought to my mind these Scriptures:

“When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” Mark 2:17

“For all have fallen short of the glory of God.” Rom 3:23

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:28

What I never realized is that failure is normal. It’s a part of life and should be expected. God doesn’t expect perfection, he expected us to sin and fall short. If not, we wouldn’t be in need of a Savior!

I sometimes feel that God didn’t care and wasn’t there. Why would He let these things happen to me when I saw others not have to deal with these things? But then I began thinking…what about all the questions I have NOT had to deal with, like:

“Why did my husband cheat on me?”
“Why did my husband, mother, father have to die?”
“Why did we have to lose our home?”
“Why can’t I find a job?”
“Why can’t I find someone who loves me?”
“Why did I have to go through sexual abuse?”
“Why couldn’t I have had a happy childhood?”
“Why did I have to struggle with a learning disability?”
“Why did I get cancer?”
“Why was I born in an improvised country?"

As I pondered all the things I DID NOT have to go through, I began praising God instead of yelling at him for the things I did go through. We all have different things we have walked through, fought and lost, and even failed at.

I now see that I can get through those things because I’m not alone. Not only do I have INCREDIBLE friends, family and a husband who pray for me but I have a Heavenly Father than
has never left nor forsaken me. In the middle of my grief, I am reminded of the night when I realized there was a God of the universe that actually loved and cared for me! Many people do not truly understand Christianity. They have seen a lot of people abuse God’s name in order to do and say hurtful things but the TRUTH is that it is about a relationship with a God who sees your grief, failures, and sins and still loves us enough to die for us.

I know that I can walk through this pain and my uncertain future (for I may never realize my two biggest desires) but I do know that my God knows what I need and will help me through it. It that, I’m grateful. So I trade in my failure for a future. The future God has for me because it is
better than anything I could dream or desire…

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the
Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to
harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11

I have found the most comfort in this time to speak with others who have gone through similar situations so I welcome those of you have walked this road to teach me the wisdom you have learned. And my desire is to do the same for others through my testimony. I know this road
is still very long and many days of tears are in my future but at least I know who holds that future!

CRAFT ROOM!

So i finally found a purpose for our "study". It has now become my new craft room!

I still have a long way to go but to have a place to get those creative juices flowing anytime i want is so wonderful!

The great thing is that craft supplies are so expensive but i found a guy on craigslist who was selling 10 boxes of craft supplies for $25! So, of course, i made my sweet husband come with me to pick it all up. So almost everything you see in the two pictures were from that great find! Many projects to be made here! :)

Thanksgiving Dining with Divas

I get the privilege of eating dinner with three of my college friends every month. We call it Dining with Divas, which is so fitting! lol It is always a blessing to see these girls. This month was my turn to have it at my house and cook. My sweet Kim asked for pumpkin pancakes so that is how the menu started!

So I found these cute Oreo turkeys on Pinterest at http://www.ourbestbites.com/2010/11/oreo-turkeys-and-cookie-pilgrim-hats/turkeys-and-cookie-pilgrim-hats/. They are super cute! :) Mine need a little work but i ran out of time.

I also had raspberries with chocolate chips in them for an appetizer and they were really good!

It was a fun night of food and laughter!

New Fall Door Wreath

<---Before

<----AFTER!

I was given a wreath a few years ago that had definitely seen better days! So i finally got up the nerve to redo it. Basically, i just pulled EVERYTHING off the old one until i just had the wreath itself.

I then took raffia and wrapped it around then I took my ribbons and did about half the wreath in that. Then i began placing the leaves. After that, i just had to hot glue it all together!

To finish it off, i painted an S (for Shelton) gold, hot glued it and then hung a harvest sign on one of the branches. That's it! I really like how it turned out! :)

Sock Snowmen!

I saw the idea for this on Pinterst at http://thenshemade.blogspot.com/2011/01/sock-snowmen.html.

I was inspired so i went to the dollar store, went home and started crafting! They were pretty simple to make after you get the hang of it. You will need

-2 decorative socks (i choose plaid and Christmas colors) and got them for $1.

-1 long white tube sock. (I used some old ones of my husband...clean of course. lol)

-bean/rice or other type of filler

-buttons

-something for the nose. I used skewers for the grill

-embellishments of your choosing.

-rubber bands

I did make a few changes from the original directions from Pinterst. I found a really long tube sock and instead of cutting just the tube part off to use as the body, I actually used the whole sock and on the second one, I turned it inside out which gave it a more textured "snowy" look. (bottom picture) then fill sock with bean/rice and secure top with a tight rubber band.

If you use a whole sock, you can actually get all different sizes of snowmen. Fill the sock as full as you want (which will dictate how tall it is) and then cute the remainder off at the top. You can actually use the excess to make another snowman...just put a tight rubber band around one end BEFORE you flip it inside out and then fill.

Then cut the ankle and toe out of ONE of the decorative socks. That becomes the sweater. You can then add rubber bands at the top and bottom of the sweater or just at the top depending on the look you want.

Then only cut the ankle part of the SECOND decorative sock. That becomes the hat. I gathered the toe and put another rubber band around it and hot glued a pom pom on the end to make it look more like a hat.

Then just add the button eyes and cut off the end of the skewer, paint it orange and hot glue it on as well. I found it helped to cut a small hole, add hot glue and actually insert the nose into the beans.

Then EMBELLISH! I had some extra tiles that i mod podged sayings on then hot glued to a skewer. I also found that if you cut the elastic part off the left over ankle bits. Cut them so they are one piece and glue together, you can make a cute scarf! That's it. :)

Fun and cute!

T-shirt Scarf with T-shirt Flowers!

So this is the simplest project ever!

The scarf itself is extremely simple. Follow the instructions in this blog: http://myworldmadebyhand.blogspot.com/2011/02/how-to-make-no-sew-infinity-scarf-from.html

But basically you simply take an XL or XXL t-shirt and cut the bottom hem off and then cut all the way across from one arm pit to the other. Then STRETCH! That's really all it is!

The flowers are a little more work but not too hard. You can fine the tutorial at http://rebekahgough.blogspot.com/2011/08/how-to-make-t-shirt-flower.html

I glued buttons in the middle of mine and I also glued a safety on the back so you can move the flowers around depending on how you are wearing your scarf.

You should sooo try this!!!!